Saturday, March 29, 2008

This is a shout out to all the single gals all over the world, no matter where you are, rest assured you are not the only one.

My question today is something I've been pondering for a few days now...
When it comes to moving on, is it the same thing as leaving something behind and if it is, does it come only we want it to?

As women, we are genetically programmed to whine. And complain. And whine some more and sometimes, it seems that we whine about moving on, more so about why we AREN'T moving on. Think about it. How many times have you been out with your girlfriends, where you've heard at least one of them ask "Why can't I move on??" or perhaps you yourself have asked that question. Maybe, it's not about the why and more about the want. Do you WANT to throw away his ratty Diesel t-shirt? Do you WANT to put away his cute greeting cards? Most importantly, do you WANT to stop reliving the memories and live the future? I know what I'm scared of is forgetting. In living the future, are we purposely forgetting the past? I don't want to forget the way he takes my breath away. I don't want to forget that electrifying feeling like my heart is going to burst out of my ribcage when he kisses me. I don't want to forget what it's like to wake up next to him and feel settled yet so unsettled. You don't want to forget the good things because it could never happen again. Irrational, I know, but true. The thoughts plague everyone of us. What if he was The One? What if I've lost my chance and from here on, its the downward spiral of settling.

On the flip side, do you WANT to remember the bad things? Like all the married couple fights that led to the silent treatment. Like the times you never felt good enough. Like the times you doubted ever falling in love with him. Unfortunately, our memories are not selective and the bad as well as the good ones hurt to think about. My motto is if it's meant to be, someday it WILL be. However, in the mean time, as you find yourself stuck between standing still and moving on, you will find someone who makes you smile at the mere thought of them and THAT, in the end, will essentially be the push you needed. For now, I WANT to dance in the rain. I WANT to laugh till I cry. I WANT to live my life because in not moving on, I am settling, in short, my worst fear. Life is too short for all the tears, obsessive facebook checking and stomach knots. In living, really living, that's where you shall find true happiness. After all, isn't that what we're all searching for?

Love,
The lady that lives with her designer shoes

4 comments:

Nicole said...

Interesting post. I hear a bit of "Carrie Bradshaw" in your voice. What city are you in?

Appreciate being single for now. Trust me, I know it's hard. I was single forever!!!! While I would not change things now or give up my kids for anything in the world, I never have a moment to myself except quick stolen ones and I find a mess in return for taking it. I haven't slept in late in almost 4 years! Nor have I had the house to myself for more than a couple hours. Enjoy it for now. Go where you want, when you want and have fun!

Keep writing! :-)

Single Girl and The City said...

Thanks, Nicole! I really find I am intrigued with relationships the way "Carrie" was. I love writing about it! I live in Canada actually.

Yes, being single is not the easiest thing but I've realized it's how I need to be right now. I like owning my life. While I do want to settle down someday, nows not the right time:)

AMI said...

i clicked through here through nicole... wow... that post was powerful. I went through that a few times before I met the guy i'm with now, and he has never made me doubt him so I feel that if it hurts? he's not for you. If it hurts and you choose him, then you are choosing pain... that doesn't make sense. Good luck, I'll enjoy checking in on you!

Single Girl and The City said...

Hi Lisa,
Thanks for stopping by. It's a daily struggle for me with doubt. Dating is hard! haha. but like you said, it's worth it to find someone who doesn't make you doubt him in the end.